How to Use Our Program With Your Church Youth
In light of today’s political environment, youth culture is sinking further into moral decay. Now that the federal government no longer supports abstinence until marriage education in our public schools, the question is who will fill the void? Answer: It should be and must be the church!
In my 25 years of training, teaching, and speaking on sexual purity, I have always been thrilled by the way the doors to the public schools opened wider and wider to this message. Every time I trained teachers (over 5500 of them), they embraced our program and others and couldn’t wait to get into their classrooms to teach it. Every time I spoke at parent conferences, those moms and dads couldn’t wait to get home to have this dialog with their teens. Every time I spoke to teens themselves (over 1 million) in school assemblies, they cheered this message with ovations of support.
This is by no means a pat on my back. It simply shows the wide acceptance of sexual abstinence until marriage as the standard for teens when teachers, parents, and youth are exposed to these kinds of programs. Now that politics has closed the door to all this in our schools, I believe that God has created the opportunity for His church to rise up and carry the torch on what has become the #1 issue in the hearts and lives of our youth today – sex.
People often ask me, “Why has the church been so silent?” There are two primary reasons. One, many in the church are simply in denial. They say, “We don’t have a problem with that S-E-X word because we are the church.” But two, and perhaps the most important reason is when I hear Christian parents who may attend a “True Love Waits” or a church sponsored youth rally where I often speak. They will come up to me afterwards and say, “Mike, powerful message, thanks for what you’re doing, but we’re not too worried about that S-E-X word regarding our teens because we have them in church or we have them in a Christian school!”
My polite response, “That’s great! But you also have your head in the sand if you don’t think your kids aren’t exposed to this in a sex-saturated culture where every facet of their lives revolves around that three letter word.”
Couple these reasons with a lack of confidence many pastors, priests, and youth pastors have in dealing with such a sensitive issue with kids and you have a church, a Christian/Parochial school that is silent on this issue. You have many parents who say nothing at home because they too lack the confidence in how to talk with their kids effectively about sex. And then you have many teenagers, left to fend for themselves in a sex-saturated world where anything and everything goes as long as you use a condom.
So how can the church respond? It’s easy! Let’s begin with a simple approach. Devote one month of the year to the issue of sexual purity in your church youth group or school. I recommend February since it’s the Valentines month or a month before prom or back to school. Incorporate our “Everyone Is NOT Doing It” program with your youth and parents.
This video series works so well because teens are visually oriented. They want to know what other teens are saying (positive peer pressure) about this issue. We had over 1000 teens participate in the making of this series.
It’s divided into three 30-minute sessions (all on the Teen DVD) and designed for middle and high school aged teens. Let’s say your youth group meets every Sunday evening. You would show session one the first Sunday of the month you pick, then the second session on the second Sunday, and the third on the third Sunday.
Before you start the program with your youth, gather their parents together for a one-time meeting and show them the 50-minute “Parent/Teacher” DVD. This is where I explain my “directive” approach to effectively teaching sexual abstinence until marriage to teens. Give each set of parents attending a copy of my book, Parents: Everyone Is NOT Doing It. This will give them more details on this approach and give them the confidence they need to reinforce this message consistently at home.
On the forth Sunday of the program, get both parents and their teens together to show the 50-minute “Faith Application” DVD. This reviews the entire program and incorporates the Biblical application on sexual purity.
Important question often asked: Why save the Biblical application for last? The answer incorporates one of the most important strategies behind the effectiveness in teaching sexual abstinence to teens. Allow me to explain.
I Chronicles 12:32 says, “the men of Issacar understood their [culture] and then they knew what to do.” In this sex-saturated culture, we cannot possibly reach most teens on the issue of sexual purity unless we understand where they are coming from on the issue. The last thing most teens want is a lecture, a finger in their face, or nothing more than the “…thou shalt nots…”
Therefore, teachers and parents, must reach kids on their level in their culture and direct THEM how to make smart healthy decisions first while building respect, responsibility, maturity, discipline, and good character. That is exactly what the first three sessions in our “Everyone Is NOT Doing It” series are designed to do. Teens will come out of those sessions understanding why it makes sense for them to abstain from sex until marriage and all the benefits in doing so. Once this makes sense to them, then their hearts are open for the Biblical application.
In fact, here is what most teenagers e-mail me after going through our program in their church youth groups or Christian/Parochial school:
“Mr. Long, after watching your DVDs and reading you book, I learned for the first time why it makes sense for me to wait until I’m married to have sex other than the Bible says its wrong. God really spoke to my heart about this in the end and I have dedicated my body and my heart to Him.”
Notice it made “sense” to the teen first. Once teens understand why it makes sense for them to save sex for marriage (God’s plan), then they no longer view Him as some mean old God up there trying to take all the fun away from being a teenager (the world). They learn that God loves them so much that He has a plan for them and their hearts are now open to receiving His plan.
That is why the first three sessions for teens and the session for parents are secular in their presentation (makes sense to them even in a sex-saturated culture). The “Faith Application” DVD is saved for last (the spoken Word now appeals to an open heart).
Once the entire program is completed, follow-up is most important. So each teen receives a copy of my Teen book to read on their own. Since they are all genuinely interested in the topic and they are desperately searching for direction, this book is designed to answer questions we as adults know they have, but are often afraid to ask us.
Thus, you have a complete program, strategically designed to meet teens where they are in the culture where you the youth pastor/teacher help them make sense of it all. Then God the Father works on the heart of the matter. The result, teenagers committing their bodies to a life of sexual abstinence until marriage and dedicating their hearts to Jesus Christ who will empower them to do so through His Holy Spirit!
To schedule Mike as a speaker or to order materials, call toll free: 1-866-MIKE-LONG