And the debate goes on!  Should we teach comprehensive sex education in our schools or abstinence education?  Seems like every year this hot button issue surfaces in state legislatures and school systems across the country.

One example is in North Carolina where state law requires public schools teach teens that “a mutually faithful monogamous heterosexual relationship in the context of marriage” is the best means of avoiding sexually transmitted diseases.  They teach the benefits of abstinence as the only certain means of preventing pregnancy, STDs, emotional problems, etc.  They teach the positive benefits of sexual abstinence until marriage and the risks of premarital sexual activity.  They teach respect, responsibility, maturity, discipline, and character.  And they teach the facts about contraceptives.  That is they will reduce some risks of pregnancies and STDs, but the emphasis is - the risk is still there (as it should be).  Sounds pretty “comprehensive” to me!

But advocates of so-called “Abstinence based comprehensive sex education” led by Planned Parenthood, NARAL (abortion rights group), ACLU, and radical gay rights organizations are strongly opposed to this kind of teaching.

They believe we should be teaching our 13 years olds all FDA approved methods of contraception.  They want Johnny and Susie to learn how to use male and female condoms, emergency contraception, diaphragms, cervical caps, sponges, spermicides, oral contraceptives, skin patches, vaginal contraceptive rings, contraceptive injections, implanted contraceptives, intrauterine devices, and surgical sterilization.

They want to replace the word “marriage” with “committed relationships” which includes not only unmarried heterosexual relationships but also homosexual, bisexual, and multi-partner relationships.  They want these lifestyles taught on a footing equal to marriage.

What’s interesting is current NC state law allows for any public school system that wants to teach comprehensive sex education to your teens may already do so.  All a school board has to do is allow for a public hearing following public notice and making the objectives of the proposed program and instructional material available to parents for review 30 days before and after the public hearing.  That’s local and parental control which allows communities across the state to decide for themselves what’s best for their kids.

Since 1995, only 10 out of 115 school districts throughout NC have decided to go this route.  That’s overwhelming opposition to comprehensive sex education.  Yet advocates want to change the law to automatically shift all teens into these classes unless their parents sign a form that says they only want their teens taught abstinence.  If you don’t sign the form or if it is not returned to the school, guess what classroom your little boy and girl goes to?  Welcome to comprehensive sex education Johnny and Susie!

And talk about stigmatizing and segregating teens at such a vulnerable age.  I can hear it in the hallways now.

“Hey Johnny, I hear you’re in the abstinence class.  You’re a nerd!”

“Hey Susie, I hear you’re in the comprehensive sex ed class.  You must be a slut!”

The unfortunate sounds of segregation may be coming back to NC Public Schools.

Until next time…

M.L. Productions, Inc.

You probably remember when you said something bad to one of your siblings, even though you really didn’t mean it, you’re mom would reprimand you by saying something like, “Well, you’re words mean something.”  Truth is, spoken words, or in this case – sung lyrics – do indeed mean something and both have a tremendous affect on teens today.

In a recent study conducted by the University of Pittsburgh, researchers graded sexually explicit lyrics in popular songs from today’s top artists.  Then they interviewed 711 teens aged 15-16 regarding their musical tastes and sexual behavior.  Overall, 31% said they have had sexual intercourse.

Of those teens who said they rarely listen to music with sexually explicit lyrics, the rate was 20.6%.  Of teens who said they listen to these lyrics a lot, the rate was 44.6%.  That’s double the amount of sexually active teens who are jamming to raunchy lyrics on their iPods!

Yet what do we hear from these teens so often?  “I don’t listen to the music for the lyrics, I listen to it for the beat.”  It is imperative that parents, teachers, and youth leaders teach our kids that superimposed on a beat are messages and lyrics that do indeed mean something.  The more they listen to them, the more they want to be like the ones singing or rapping them.  Teens become desensitized to the debauchery and lasciviousness constantly penetrating their minds.

Next thing most parents wonder is why do so many teenagers want to look just like these groups, talk just like them, act just like them, be just like them?  It’s because what they listen to over and over again affects the way teens want to look, talk, and most importantly – ACT.

That’s why it is imperative mom and dad that you monitor what is on your teens’ iPods, that you sit down with them and read the lyrics on the CD covers, that you ask your teens why these groups sing about explicit sex so much.  Then you can direct them to make better decisions as to what they listen to while giving them what they say they want anyway – the beat!

Why do today’s music groups sing about sex so much?  Easy answer, SEX SELLS!  They know it get’s our attention, especially teenagers.  And that’s all these groups want so it will compel teens to spend $15, $16, $17 dollars or so to buy their CDs or download their songs from iTunes.  Then these groups could care less about the impact their lyrics have on the way teens think about sex or their videos have on the way teens view sex.  Many teenagers want to imitate what they hear and see, especially from their “idols.”  No wonder more teens who get a heavy dose of sexually explicit song lyrics are more prone to be sexually active.

It is vital that parents, teachers, and youth leaders get more involved with teens and what they’re listening to and watching (music videos).  Tell them you’re all going to listen to what’s on their iPods and CDs together.  If your teens are hesitant to that suggestion, then you know something is up.  Insist on doing it anyway, make it fun - then direct them.

But keep in mind, if you are going to take something away from kids, you need to replace it with something else.  Make a deal with your teens.  Tell them you’re going to the music store with them or sit down in front of the computer and listen to music together.  If it’s all about the beat, which is what teens say, then you will have no problem finding it with lyrics that are uplifting and positive.  Buy those songs for your teens.  You won’t get any argument from them for that!  And you shouldn’t get any argument from them about the songs you just bought, because it’s all about the beat….right teenager?

Until next time…

M.L. Productions, Inc.

How should parents, teachers, and youth leaders respond to this question?

Bristol Palin, the 18-year old daughter of Gov. Sarah Palin, was recently interviewed on TV about her teen pregnancy and birth of her baby boy on December 27, 2008.  After talking about how “awesome” it was to be a mom and how “very, very, very cute” her baby was, she proceeded to share how tough it is being a teenage mom and how she wished all this could have happened ten years later.

When asked if she had philosophical or religious opposition to contraceptives, the teenager mustered up the following response:  “No. I don’t want to get into detail about that. But I think abstinence is, like—like, the—I don’t know how to put it—like, the main—everyone should be abstinent or whatever, but it’s not realistic at all.”

I see a very confused teenager trying to make the best out of her current situation while making herself feel better about it.  Her bungled response is indicative to what groups like Planned Parenthood are trying to convince moms and dads of teenagers today.  That is we should teach abstinence, but since it’s unrealistic to believe teens will practice it (they’re going to “do it” anyway) we need to make sure they have their condoms.

Bristol is trying to have it both ways.  On the one hand she regrets getting pregnant and wants to tell kids not to have sex (abstinence) because of all the consequences, etc.  Then on the other hand, she says that abstinence is “unrealistic,” so be sure to use a condom.  Besides, being a teenage mom is “exciting” she proclaims while complaining about all her sleepless nights and no time for herself.

The problem is if she takes a strong stand for abstinence then she feels like she has to admit to herself and others that what she did was wrong.  Call it pride or whatever, she therefore rationalizes (covers up) the mistake she made by saying all is well and abstinence is “unrealistic” anyway.

To say abstinence is “unrealistic” is to admit that we humans are nothing more than animals unable to control our urges and feelings and therefore must act upon them (if it feels good, do it) anytime we please regardless of the consequences.  Of course, this is not true.  So it is vital that parents, teachers, and youth leaders help teenagers understand that they are not “sexual beings” as the culture would lead them to believe, they are human beings.

They have a brain and the ability to think about consequences before they act, so that if they’re not ready to take on certain consequences, they can make intelligent decisions in advance to be free of them.  They have a heart that needs to be taught the difference between love and infatuation.  They have a soul forever seeking to know the difference between right and wrong.  And they have a responsibility to deal with the social consequences involved in raising children.

In a sex-saturated culture, we need to constantly reinforce to our kids sexual abstinence until marriage as the standard in which to follow.  Any teen embracing this lifestyle will never have to worry about walking in Bristol’s shoes – being a mom [or dad] when they’re not ready.  They’ll never have to worry about devastating sexually transmitted diseases in their lives (many of which there is no cure).  They’ll never have to worry about their hearts being broken when someone gets what they’re after and they get dumped.

Then they will have so many wonderful things to look forward to when they are ready to make a lifelong commitment to someone based on love in marriage: husband-wife, mom-dad, children-family.  Sounds pretty “realistic” to me as it has and still is for millions of teens nationwide!

Until next time…

M.L. Productions, Inc.

Mike Long is one of America’s leading educators helping teenagers deal with the many pressures they face about sex.  For years, he has spoken to school assemblies and youth organizations all over the country; and in increasing numbers, teenagers have responded to his clear, honest message. Mike effectively communicates with teenagers; and in this book, he addresses such issues as:

• the Top Ten List of Pressures on Teens to Have Sex
• how to cope with the emotional ups and downs of teenage relationships
• how the entertainment industry has deliberately lied to teens about sex in order to pick their pockets
• how teens can use a simple test to determine whether or not a boy friend or girl friend really loves them
• how far is too far
• how teens can take charge of their own sexuality and find true sexual freedom
• and why, for the first time in decades, everyone is NOT doing it!

Since 1985, over 1 million teenagers have heard Mike speak and seen his powerful video series.  And now, Mike has written this book especially for teens looking for clear direction and needing honest answers to questions they have about sex.  His simple, yet compelling instruction will help any teen lead a happier, healthier and more fulfilling life!

“As a practicing Obstetrician/Gynecologist for many years.  I have seen it all-sexually transmitted diseases, unplanned pregnancies, and emotional trauma.  It is refreshing to read a book designed for teens that gives them clear direction and medically accurate information that will keep them free from these terrible consequences.  I find this book to be a valuable resource for teens, parents, youth leaders and others who are interested in helping young people make responsible decisions regarding their own health and sexuality.” 
Hale H. Stephenson, MD
Obstetrics, Gynecology, and Pelvic Surgery
Greenville, NC

Published by Jameson Books, Inc.  Ottawa, Illinois

A Faith Application Verison of the “Everyone Is NOT Doing It” series is now available on DVD or VHS Tapes for churches and youth groups.

From Abstinence Education pioneer Mike Long, the faith application version of the “Everyone Is NOT Doing It” 4-part video tape series is designed to teach sexual purity to teens from a Biblical perspective. This tape may stand on its own for a one time program for youth and parents or as a continuation form Mike’s 4-part series.

Mike Long has been a leader in abstinence education since 1985 in the public schools. He has traveled to nearly every state in the US training thousands of teachers and parents in his “directive” approach to teaching abstinence to teens. He has spoken to well over 1 million teenagers and his “Everyone Is NOT Doing It” video tape series “For Happier, Healthier, and more Fulfilling Lives” is being used in over 4000 school systems and youth organizations nationwide.

This series is produced in a secular presentation for public schools building good health, character, maturity, responsibility, self-discipline, and respect in teens. Many churches and other faith organizations use this series with their youth groups because it helps them understand why sexual abstinence until marriage makes such good sense. Mike beleives that once it makes sense to them, their hearts will be more open and receptive to the Biblical application. That is why he made this tape.

For best results, pick a month to showcase this issue with your teens. On the first night your youth meets, show tape 1 of the “Everyone Is NOT Doing It” series. The next week, show tape 2 of this series. The next week, show tape 3. During this time, pick a night for the parents to meet and show them tape 4 - “The Parent/Teacher Role.” On week 4, show both parents and teens together this tape for the Biblical application. Then provide each teen a copy of Mike’s book, Teenagers: Everyone Is NOT Doing It and each parent a copy of Parents: Everyone Is NOT Doing It. This way the discussion may continue at home between teenagers who are motivated on the issue and parents who have more confidence in addressing it. If you cannot devote a month to the entire series, then pick one night to show this tape to both parents and youth together and provide them Mike’s books.

Finally, consider having Mike come and speak at a youth rally in your community and conducting training for area pastors and youth pastors.

By: Randall Murphree

(AgapePress) - Mike Long was a pioneer when he began his abstinence education program in 1986. At the time, almost no public schools or institutions were espousing sexual abstinence before marriage, and the education establishment was barreling full-steam ahead with misnomered “safe” sex ed programs.

Long was a teacher in the Durham, North Carolina, public schools when he first realized the devastating effects of such programs on teenagers. Determined to find a positive alternative, he received a grant from the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Resources to develop an abstinence education strategy acceptable for public schools. After a decade of proving it can be successful, the program he’s developed—Everyone Is Not Doing It—began making great headway in 1995.

“When we become parents of a teenager, we need mega-help!” declares Barry St. Claire, national youth speaker and author. “Dealing with sex is one of the most difficult issues to communicate positively. Mike’s book gives us the tools we need to communicate the value of virginity to our teenagers.”

However, not everyone is happy with Long’s success. Sexual purity, though based on centuries of moral tradition, has become anathema to a culture which demands “freedom” in all things—including teen sex. Earlier this year, Long debated the issue on CNN’s TalkBack Live. His detractors were Helen Fisher, Rutgers University anthropologist, and Esther Drill, co-founder of a website that teaches teen girls about sex.

Both women came from a decided liberal bent, insisting that teens cannot help having sex. Fisher was challenged by one teenager in the audience for calling humans animals—clearly suggesting that indiscriminate sex is simply a part of human experience. When Fisher denied having used the term, the teenager quoted her (correctly) verbatim. Fisher was speechless.

At one point in the debate, Long asked Fisher what her answer is to the teenager who says, “All right, you taught me about safe sex. I used a condom, but now my girlfriend’s pregnant. What you taught me didn’t work.” Fisher appeared stunned by the question and stammered incoherently, knowing she had no answer.

At another point, the frustrated anthropologist called Long “uneducated,” though he holds a degree from University of North Carolina. Fisher and company notwithstanding, Long’s program continues to find increasing use in both public and private schools.

“I’m thrilled at the way things are going in the schools,” Long says, “and now, finally in churches.” He was dismayed when churches initially shied away from the practical curriculum that trains parents and teachers on how to instruct teens regarding abstinence. The program uses an approach which helps teens see abstinence as the sensible choice, and helps them realize that it leaves them in charge of their lives and removes the risks of sexual activity.

He says many Christian parents believe they don’t have to worry about their kids being sexually active because they are in church regularly. “Kids in the church are exposed to the same pressures,” Long says. “There are real problems among Christian kids.”

Long has produced a number of teaching materials—videos, audio tapes and books. The latest video series is called Everyone is Not Doing It. The four videos in the series include “Overcoming Peer Pressure,” “The Emotional Roller Coaster,” “Responsible Sexual Freedom,” and “The Parent-Teacher Role.” The series is complemented by a pair of Everyone is Not Doing It books, one for parents and one for teens.

Most school sex ed programs introduced over recent decades ignore or barely mention abstinence, and instead focus on birth control, contraceptives, how to have sex without intercourse and other “everybody’s-doing-it” practices. Long believes these practices too often lead to teen promiscuity, pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease (STD) and emotional heartbreak. His program addresses birth control and the use of contraceptives, but gives the whole truth – that they cannot guarantee protection from pregnancy and STDs. Abstinence can.

“Besides,” Long says, “I’ve never seen a condom anywhere that can protect a kid’s heart.”

The educator/film producer believes that teens are mature enough and sensible enough to make responsible choices when given the truth about all options. “Once abstinence makes sense to teenagers,” he says, “they are more open to the Biblical application.”

William P. Wilson, M.D., professor emeritus of psychiatry at Duke University Medical Center Durham, endorses Long’s program. Wilson says, “Mike Long has presented in his book a simple method of authoritatively teaching sex to preteens and teens. More importantly, the principles he espouses are applicable to all moral instruction.”

Long has personally conducted in-service training for more than 23,000 educators and youth leaders in 43 states. He has been featured on NBC’s A Closer Look, MTV’s Choose or Lose, Janet Parshall’s America, Billy Graham’s Decision Today, Concerned Women for America, American Family Radio, Focus on the Family, and more. He has clearly become a bonafide major player in the sex ed arena.

April 23, 2002
Hearing of the Committee on Energy and Commerce Health Subcommittee
United States House of Representatives
Washington, DC

From:  Michael B. Long

Mr. Chairman and Members of the Committee:

My name is Mike Long and I appreciate the opportunity to submit comments for the record on Abstinence Education and H.R. 4122. Since 1986, it has been my privilege to travel to 43 states and train over 23,000 educators how to effectively teach sexual abstinence until marriage to America’s youth. It has truly been rewarding for me to see these teachers embracing my “directive education” techniques in teaching abstinence and applying them to their own talent, professionalism, and love for teenagers in order to be more successful in the classroom. From a health perspective alone, it is imperative that teachers, parents, and youth leaders receive all the help they need to be more successful in teaching sexual abstinence until marriage to our kids. That is why I support H.R. 4122.

I have seen first hand the tremendous results the Title V abstinence education funds from the 1996 Welfare Reform Act have had over the last five years across America. School system after school system has been able to replace failed comprehensive sex education programs with solid abstinence education programs that work. Since 1997, we have seen both teen pregnancy rates and abortion rates steadily decline simultaneously. That is unprecedented in our nation’s history and it is primarily due to the fact that school systems and youth organizations finally received the funding they needed to allow them to implement abstinence education programs for the first time.

It is imperative that this funding continues for the sake of our teenagers because there is no subject that has generated more confusion among teens today than sex. Teens say it is all our friends talk about (peer pressure), it is all we see on television, it is all we see in movies and advertising, it is all our favorite groups sing about, and in so many cases our teachers are showing us how (comprehensive sex education). No wonder so many teens believe “everyone is doing it” and if they want to be cool and popular like “everyone else,” then they need to be doing it too. The fact of the matter is everyone is NOT doing it. Teenagers who buy into this kind of “sexual freedom” promoted so heavily in our culture are now asking these questions: “Hey man, what is all this I am hearing about AIDS and STDs? Why are so many of my friends suffering emotionally from premarital sex? I am not ready to be a mother. I am not ready to be a father. Is there anything I can do to be ‘sexually free’ of these things?” There is no doubt the sexual revolution of the last few decades has not only produced the greatest epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases, teen pregnancy, divorce, and heartache in our society; but also the most confused and misdirected generation of teenagers ever in our schools.

The “Safe Sex” Approach

And what has been the response of many educators to this epidemic? “We have got to protect these kids today and the best way to do that is to teach them how to use condoms and birth control while allowing them to make their own sexual decisions (comprehensive sex education).” This response coupled with the false assumption that “hormone enraged teenagers” are going to be sexually active anyway has led many educators to what I call a defeatist attitude in teaching. Such an attitude has caused many teachers to lower their standards and expectations to the level that teens today cannot practice sexual abstinence; therefore it is unrealistic to teach it. Their assumption has been teenagers are going to be sexually active anyway, therefore we must give them the information they need to “protect themselves” while offering them little or no direction to be completely free from serious consequences.

The Wrong Way to Teach

Imagine you are a teacher. You have a classroom of teenage students. You are getting ready to teach them sex education. Your assumption is most of them are going to be sexually active anyway. Besides, their hormones are flowing at that age. Therefore, most of them are unable to control their sexual desires. You want them to be protected from many very serious consequences. You say a few words about abstinence. You tell them it is the 100% effective method of preventing serious consequences. But you do not spend much time discussing abstinence because you believe that behavior is unrealistic. Remember your assumption? Hormones are flowing, they are going to be sexually active anyway, and they need to be protected. You spend the remainder of your instruction talking about condoms. You use props to demonstrate the proper use of condoms. You provide teens with information about other methods of birth control. You never offer any real direction concerning an expected standard of behavior because you believe it is up to teens to decide whether or not they are going to be sexually active. You are teaching from the vantage point that they will be sexually active.

Now, try to enter the mind of the misdirected teenager sitting in your classroom. Here is what they are thinking concerning sex:

It is all my friends talk about (peer pressure). It is all I see on television. It is all I see in the movies. It is all I see in commercials and advertising (sex sells). It is all my favorite groups are singing about. Then, consider the number of teens exposed to difficult family situations, broken homes, drug infested neighborhoods, gangs, etc. No wonder so many teens believe the following:

Everyone is doing it. I have the desire to do it. I want to be cool and popular like everyone else I see doing it (media exposure). In many cases, my teacher is showing me how (comprehensive sex ed.) Comprehensive sex education has asked children to make adult decisions even though they freely admit they can’t decide on their own. In the past this form of teaching has created an expectation in teenager’s minds that adults do not believe they can practice abstinence because they are going to do it anyway. Educators have equipped teens with a false security in knowing that their teacher taught them how to protect themselves. Alas, the environment of the comprehensive sex education classroom! No wonder we have had a teenage epidemic of sex in this country today.

As an abstinence educator and teacher trainer, the one thing I have learned from teens themselves concerning this non-directional, comprehensive approach to sex education is: Teens today know more about contraceptives than at any time in our history and yet most will choose not to use them for 3 primary reasons: 1) The invincible teenager - the nothing is going to happen to me mentality. 2) Takes all the romance out of it. Teens would rather sex happen in the heat of the moment as opposed to stopping to use a condom, etc. 3) Any teen that chooses to use contraceptives identifies themselves as being sexually active and they do not like the identity. So I learned a long time ago, you can teach teens all you want about contraceptives and most will choose not to use them anyway. Again, you’re asking children to make adult decisions.

One of the worst experiences I have ever had was talking with a 17 year old boy in Kalamazoo, MI who said to me (pay close attention to the words he used): “Mr. Long, I thought I was being responsible. I thought I was being safe. I thought I was being mature. I used a condom—just like they taught me in school. Why am I a father now?” What this teenager did not learn was the failure rates involved with condom use. He followed the instruction of his comprehensive sex ed. teacher who said the responsible, safe, and mature thing for him to do was to use a condom. That instruction failed him. Now he has to deal with the responsibilities of fatherhood at 17 years of age. My question to the comprehensive sex ed. teacher who offers this kind of instruction is, “What are you going to say to the teen who takes your advice, uses a condom, and still gets AIDS or any other STD?”

Another thing I have learned from teens is that many of them do not realize that their sexual drive is controllable and that changing their sexual behavior is possible. This does not surprise me due to of all the pressures they face to remain or become sexually active. The media portrays teen sex drives as uncontrollable. Couple this with the lowered standards and expectations of the comprehensive sex education teacher and you have reduced teenagers to the level of mere animals regarding sex. But we all know our teens are far more than that.

Teenagers are not just sexual beings (as comprehensive sex ed. teaches), they are human beings. That is why abstinence education emphasizes the mental side of human sexuality. It stresses to teens to use that smart brain they have and make intelligent decisions before they act so that if they’re not ready to take on unwanted consequences in their lives, they have the mental power to make decisions beforehand that will completely free them from those unwanted consequences.

Abstinence education teaches teens the emotional side of human sexuality. It teaches teens to consider the “heart of the matter.” This is where so many teens are getting hurt from premarital sex when their heart gets broken when someone gets what they’re after, and then they get “dumped” (which is usually what happens in most teen sexual relationships). This causes emotional heartache that teens suffer.

Abstinence education teaches the moral side of human sexuality. It is not for the teacher to impose his or her religious values in the classroom. Quite the contrary. It is the teacher’s responsibility to get teenagers to reflect back on what they are learning at home from their parents or in their respective churches, synagogues, or other religious institutions. Why? Because this is a very important aspect to human sexuality that one cannot ignore.

And abstinence education teaches the social side of human sexuality. Here we are dealing with consequences. We’re dealing with respect, responsibility, maturity, discipline, etc. Aspects of life that all parents, teachers, principals, and administrators want for their kids. Unlike comprehensive sex education, abstinence education goes much further in teaching teens all aspects of human sexuality instead of focusing mostly on the physical side. And abstinence education is much more effective because it is “directive” in its implementation rather than “non-directive.” Teens conclude by their teacher’s direction that abstinence is the wisest, most healthy choice for them to make at this point in their lives. The great thing about this kind of directive teaching is when it is taught correctly, it works!

For example, when I was in high school, everyday when I came home from school, I got this physical urge to eat. I wanted a snack. (A teen can relate to this!) Every time I felt this physical urge to eat, I went and immediately satisfied it with an afternoon snack. Every time I felt this physical urge and my immediate response was to go ahead and satisfy it, something negative occurred in my life. Ask any teen what happened and they will tell you I gained weight! One day I was walking down the halls of my high school and the basketball coach came up to me and said, “Mike, looks like you are putting a few pounds on, basketball season is just around the corner, you better lose some weight.” I then made a decision. From now on every afternoon when I come home from school I would cut out that afternoon snack. Just because I made that decision does that mean the physical urge that I feel is going to go away? Of course not. It is probably going to get stronger. But if I do not go and immediately satisfy it (out of control), it is not going to kill me. In fact, I learned ways to re-channel that physical energy in order to experience positives from it, not negatives. For me, it was to go out and shoot some basketball. As a result, not only did I lose weight, I became a better basketball player in the process. Now let us ask teens to relate this example to their sexual drive.

Abstinence education taught in a directive way is not designed to force teenagers to suppress their sexual drive in the back of their head like it does not exist in order to avoid dangerous consequences. In fact, abstinence education encourages teens to recognize their sexual drive, appreciate it, but understand that it is controllable! This kind of education empowers teens to redirect physical energies in order to experience positives in their lives, not negatives. It builds character, discipline, and self-esteem. It offers teens a way out (renewed virginity) of dangerous activities they may already be involved in. And it’s always amazing to me to hear the number of teens who have been through an abstinence program inevitably say, “I never knew my sexual drive was controllable.” “I never knew I could change!” When taught on a teen’s level, abstinence education gets the right results.

Abstinence Education IS Comprehensive In It’s Approach

If we want our teens to be safe and healthy in this sex-crazed culture, it is imperative that teachers be given the training and resources they need to effectively teach sexual abstinence until marriage as the standard for America’s youth. When taught correctly, everything teenagers need to make informed decisions about sex are covered.

For example, comprehensive sex ed. advocates like to argue that teaching “abstinence-only” is simply lecturing kids to “Just say NO!” That is a major fallacy. Abstinence education taught in a directive approach enables a teacher to present the issue on a teen’s level so that the teen concludes in his or her mind that abstinence is the wisest, most healthy choice at this point in their lives. In fact, the word “abstinence” or “no” is hardly ever used in directive abstinence education. Again, by the teacher’s direction, the teen concludes hundreds of times that “abstinence is the wisest most health choice for me to make.” That is what makes it work!

Another fallacy of abstinence education is that it is not comprehensive. In other words, it completely disregards any instruction on contraceptives. In fact, quite the contrary is true. Contraceptives are discussed at great length in abstinence education but the difference is that they are not presented as “safe sex” because there is no such thing nor are they presented as a mixed message which is so often the case in comprehensive sex ed. programs.

Consider Sec. of State Colin Powell’s remarks recently on MTV. He was asked how sexually active teens should respond to the AIDS epidemic. His response in so many words was to “protect yourself” by using condoms. Although his advice may have been considered by many to be well intentioned and reasonable, I didn’t provide the real truth behind the advice he gave. Here’s how I would have answered the question:

Many have often heard that if you’re going to be sexually active, you should use a condom. Well let me tell you what that condom WILL do for you. It will reduce your risk of becoming a parent when you’re not ready, but you must understand, the risk is still there. It will reduce your risk of contracting AIDS and some diseases, but you must understand, the risk is still there. What kind of odds do you want to play when it comes to AIDS, genital warts (HPV), and other diseases that will scar you for life? Response from kids is always: ZERO! Guess what? Teenagers just concluded that abstinence was the best choice for them to make. You never even said the word, yet teens themselves arrived at that conclusion on their own by simply hearing the truth of what a condom will do. They embrace abstinence because none of them want to take their chances of contracting these life scarring diseases no matter how much the odds are reduced. Oh, and by the way teenagers….I’ve never seen a condom made anywhere in the world that will protect a teenager’s HEART and this is where most teens are getting hurt.

Now, in this example, did I talk about condoms? YES I DID! The difference is, I told the whole truth about them and in doing so, teenagers are intelligent enough to embrace abstinence as the only answer to a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life. Abstinence education allows teens to learn that if they are going to be sexually active, contraceptives will reduce the risks of some dangerous consequences, but teens also learn that the risks are still there. This empowers teens to conclude that contraceptives are not always “safe,” nor are they the complete answer to the problem. But, unlike what most comprehensive sex ed. advocates say in that abstinence education does not teach contraceptives, don’t believe it! We do teach them. We teach the real truth about them. And teens make better decisions as a result.

One final fallacy of abstinence education is the assumption that educators are trying to teach religion in the public schools. This could not be any further from the truth. Abstinence education does not teach religion, it teaches good health. If good health (abstinence until marriage) happens to agree with a religious tenant, that is no reason not to teach good health. There are many public institutions that use public money to feed the hungry and home the homeless. Faith, hope, and charity are religious tenants. Does this mean we stop using public institutions and money to do that—of course not!

Conclusion

As more and more educators and health professionals embrace the effectiveness of directive teaching as it relates to abstinence education, they create a greater link between the school and community. Parents are all for these kinds of programs. In fact, in all the parent conferences I conduct, the overwhelming response from parents is, “It is about time!!” Abstinence education empowers parents with tremendous opportunities to direct their teens at home. So many parents ask me, “How do I talk with my teens about sex so they will listen?” That is the beauty of the Community Awareness Program that many public school abstinence education programs are conducting now. Parents are trained in an evening session the merits of “directive parenting.” They understand exactly what will be taught in their teens’ classroom and they are given parent manuals so that they can further the discussion at home. These programs are a beautiful link between the school and home and they empower parents to contribute to the education process. I seen very few if any comprehensive sex ed. programs that involves parents which is very unfortunate.

The real beauty of abstinence education is that it is cost effective. The Title V abstinence education funds allocated over the past five years have been a drop in the bucket compared to the amount of money the federal government has put into failed comprehensive sex education programs. By expanding Title V in H.R. 4122, more schools systems that want to implement solid abstinence education programs will finally have the funds to do so. More teachers will be trained, more parents will be involved, and more teens will be saved from life-scarring consequences. Fewer teens having babies means fewer welfare checks. I believe that Title V is a small investment made in our nation’s youth that reap tremendous dividends across the board. The past successes of abstinence education programs across the nation will continue to grow with future investments. It is crucial that this committee gives abstinence education the necessary funds to continue protecting America’s greatest resource-our youth.

I appreciate the opportunity to submit these comments for the record, and ask that the Committee members direct any questions to me about this testimony. Thank you.

Michael B. Long
Author, Producer
“Everyone Is NOT Doing It”
Abstinence Education Program
P.O. Box 99487
Raleigh, NC 27624-9487
(919) 562-4080

There is no subject that has generated more confusion among teens today than sex. Teens say it’s all our friends talk about (peer pressure). It’s all we see on television. It’s all we see in movies and advertising. It’s all over the internet. It’s all our favorite groups sing about. And in many cases our teachers are showing us how to do it (comprehensive sex education). No wonder so many teens believe “everyone is doing it” and if they want to be cool and popular like everyone else, then they need to be doing it too.

The fact is everyone is NOT doing it. Teens who buy into this kind of “sexual freedom” promoted so heavily in our culture are now asking these questions: “Hey man, what’s all this I’m hearing about AIDs and STDs?” “Why are so many of my friends getting their hearts broken from premarital sex?” “I’m not ready to be a mother.” “I’m not ready to be a father.” “Is there anything I can do to be ‘sexually free’ of those things?”

There is no doubt the sexual revolution of the last few decades has not only produced the greatest epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases, divorce and heartache in our society, but also created the most confused and misdirected generation of teenagers in our schools.

Even many parents and educators don’t know what to do about this problem. Many throw their hands in the air, conclude our teens are “going to do it anyway,” and feel they’re being responsible teachers by throwing condoms at the problem. It is the defeatist approach to teaching kids, giving teens all the information they need to “protect themselves” while offering them no direction of how to be completely free from serious consequences. Teens are left to make adult decisions even though they already admit they’re confused and can’t decide. So many fall prey to the daily pressures that tell them to go for it, equipped with the false security that a condom will protect them.

Take Sec. Of State Colin Powell’s remarks recently on MTV. He was asked how sexually active teens should respond to the AIDS epidemic. His response in so many words was to “protect yourself” by using condoms. I wonder what Sec. Powell would say to the kid who takes his advice, uses a condom, and still gets AIDS? Here’s what he should have said:

Many have often heard that if you’re going to be sexually active, you should use a condom. Well let me tell you what that condom WILL do for you. It will reduce your risk of becoming a parent when you’re not ready, but you must understand, the risk is still there. It will reduce your risk of contracting AIDS and some diseases, but you must understand, the risk is still there. What kind of odds do you want to play when it comes to AIDS, genital warts (HPV), and other diseases that will scar you for life? Response from kids is always: ZERO! Guess what? Teenagers just concluded that abstinence was the best choice for them to make. You never even said the word, yet teens themselves arrived at that conclusion on their own by simply hearing the truth of what a condom will do. They embrace abstinence because none of them want to take their chances of contracting these life scarring diseases no matter how much the odds are reduced. Oh, and by the way teenagers….I’ve never seen a condom made anywhere in the world that will protect a teenager’s HEART and this is where most teens are getting hurt.

Now, did we talk about condoms here? YES WE DID! The difference is, we told the truth about them and in doing so, teenagers are intelligent enough to embrace abstinence as the only answer to a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

In my 20 years as an abstinence educator, the one thing I have learned from teenagers is they know more today about contraceptives than at any time in our history and yet most will choose not to use them for 3 primary reasons:

1) The invincible teenager - the “nothing is going to happen to me” mentality.
2) Takes all the romance out of it all. Teens would rather sex happen in the heat of the moment instead of pausing to use a condom.
3) Teens who choose to use contraceptives identify themselves as being sexually active and they don’t like the identity.

So I learned a long time ago, you can teach teens all you want about contraceptives and yet most will choose not to use them anyway.

One of the worst experiences I ever had was talking with a 17 year old boy in Kalamazoo, Michigan who said, “Mr. Long, I thought I was being responsible, I thought I was being safe, I thought I was being mature. I used a condom. Why am I a father now?” The three words he used are critical. He had been taught in his health class at school that being responsible, safe, and mature was using a condom. He took that advice and it didn’t work for him. If parents and educators teach from the premise that responsibility, safety, and maturity is condom use, what will they say to their teens who take their advice, use a condom, and still gets AIDS?

Even the Surgeon General’s recent sexuality report uses words like “responsible sexual behavior” over 20 times. The question is do we teach kids that responsible sexual behavior is the kind of behavior that failed for my friend in Kalamazoo? Or do we teach kids that responsible sexual behavior is sexual abstinence until marriage?

More and more educators, parents, and health professionals are concluding that sexual abstinence until marriage is the wisest, most healthy lifestyle for all teenagers. School systems and youth organizations across America are embracing abstinence education programs that work into their health curriculum. The federal government has jumped on the bandwagon, appropriating over $250 million (1996 Welfare Reform Act) in block grants to the states for the sole purpose of funding abstinence until marriage programs. President Bush barely mentions the word education today with attaching the words character and abstinence to it.

The president now wants Congress to raise funding for abstinence education by 33 percent this year to a total of $135 million. Even Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson, spoke in favor of the increased funding, “The president feels, the administration feels, a lot of people in Congress feel that this a much better way to attempt to solve this problem of teen-age pregnancy.”

There is no question that abstinence education is on a roll, but there are still many who have not bought into it because they do not have a clear understanding of what abstinence education is all about. Many believe that abstinence is unrealistic because they think it is simply lecturing kids, finger-pointing, or telling them to: “Just Say No.” Quite the contrary. In fact, abstinence education incorporates one of the most innovative and effective methods of teaching - something I call directive education.

Directive education works and directive education sells. For example, let’s say you go to your school principal (or administrator, etc.) and say, “Principal, we would like to bring Mike Long in to conduct a teacher training and school assembly on abstinence….” The fact that you used the word abstinence often leads the principal to a false preconceived conclusion like, “Oh, you want to bring him in to lecture our kids and tell them to just say, ‘NO!’ That’ll never work.” Because you used the word abstinence, you are often immediately labeled as right-wing, religious, and unrealistic. You often find yourself from that point on talking to a brick wall!

So what if you said, “Principal, we would like to bring Mike Long in to conduct a teacher training and school assembly on directive education….” At this point, the principal is going to ask you with an open mind, “What’s that?” Now you can dispel the myths or preconceived notions the principal may carry from the beginning of your explanation:

“Well, let me tell you what he’s not going to do. He’s not going to lecture kids. He’s not going to preach to them. He’s not going to tell them to ‘Just say NO!’ He’s going to get on a teenager’s level and direct them how to make responsible, healthy decisions in life that will build their character, build responsibility, build maturity, build discipline, and completely free them from life-scarring consequences.”

When you explain it like that, nearly every principal in America will say, “Well, bring him in!!” Why? Because you just gave that principal what every principal, school board member, administrator, teacher, health professional, parent, etc. wants for ALL of our teenagers: character, responsibility, maturity, discipline. That is what abstinence education is all about. That is what sells to the schools.

If we want our teens to make responsible, safe, and healthy decisions in a sex-crazed culture, it is imperative that parents and teacher’s learn and implement a directive education approach with teens. If all we give our kids is a condom or a lecture of, “Just say NO,” we will fail. But if we learn how to teach on a teenager’s level and direct them to the conclusion that sexual abstinence until marriage is the wisest, most healthy choice for them to make, we will succeed.

Since 1985 it has been my privilege to train over 35,000 educators in 46 states how to successfully implement directive education in their schools. To see these teachers use this new teaching strategy with teens and get the positive results they get has been the most rewarding experience I have ever had as an educator. We need more salespersons to take this positive message to their communities. The dividends created will prove we made the greatest investment in our kids’ insuring happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives!

Mike Long - (919) 562-4080 - Raleigh, NC